Cityism #94: They're not playing that movie where you live. Whaaat!?

Just wait for it on DVD? I guess.

Cityism #93: May I talk to your manager?

But, really, where the hell is he? No, no--you listen to me.

Cityism #92: It's fun to call the delivery guy on a rainy day...just because you can.

Cityism #91: Writers are celebrities here.

Word.

Cityism #90: Guess what? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

Cityism #89: You always have visitors. Family, friends, colleagues, etc.

People slip and slide out of this city faster than shedding water weight with Ex-lax.

Cityism #88: It's annoying that "Gossip Girl-like" is such a common adjective nowadays...

Cityism #87: I know I have Netflix but, trust me, my rental store is soooo worth it. We don't have to wait to watch Downtown 81.

Blockbuster wouldn't carry that movie anyway.

Cityism #86: Kids approaching you to sell candy.

Not sure if it's happened to you yet...

CItyism #85: How the LES still has the community vibe but has become more gentrified.

Cityism #84: Book readings/signings.

Cityism #83: Jersey people taking limos into the city.

Cityism #82: Martin Scorsese.

Cityism #81: Making fun of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Believe it or not, lots of people despise her. (You probably believe that).

Me?

I respect her. She's made a fortune for herself. What have you done?

Cityism #80: Seeking shelter from those who chase you at night.

Cityism #79: It's easy to distinguish Parsons students.

2000nd and late.

Cityism #78: I know where we're going. Trust me. I know that rooftop by heart.

We take a left.

Cityism #77: I finally understand why Rear Window is a scary movie.

Let's face it...There are lurkers.

Cityism #76: Some places are just better during the day than at night.

No, sweetie. We go during the day to the lower half of Grand...

Cityism #75: Spontaneous flower shopping/the pleasure of aroma on the curb.

It's nice to buy flowers.

Cityism #74: Bob and Harvey Weinstein.

Master players of the biz.

Cityism #73: Feminists.

Cityism #72: Referring to restaurants by introducing the chef's name first.

No, not that one. It's Thomas Keller's most recent.

Cityism #71: Oh, I never told you. I've been selling some of my art in the street.

Some just want to make money on the side...

Some are just trying to make a living.

Cityism #70: BANKSY.

Cityism #69: The bicycle guy that sells beer in Central Park.

+

Easy breezy.

Cityism #68: Subway reading.

Have you read the new Louis Sachar or R.L. Stine?! Hot damn. It's...it's riveting and absolutely harrowing. Engrossing on many levels...

Cityism #67: Village Voice erotic directory.

After you flip through the Voice (and get that notice of an advanced film screening), you may want to check out the erotic directory in the back. Not sure what you're into but if it's not arousing it's certainly amusing...or gross? Or just whatever.

Cityism #66: Always wash your hands.

Cityism #65: Check the weather early in the day. You don't want the rain to ruin your hair in the streets.

...Or you don't want to be rained on and splashed around. Mother Nature is one moody girl in this city.

Cityism #64: I should've just taken the subway.

I barely made it for the Ken Russell marathon because of traffic. My stupid taxi driver continued to throw his hands up in the air, disapprovingly witnessing the traffic before him and hearing my indignant scowls.

Should've just taken the subway...

Cityism #63: Every location has had a series of events happen over the course of history. You may be surprised.

I googled my location the other day and started reading some article from the NY Times dating back to 1907...Something about a jewel thief and a shop below me involving a robbery.

That's pretty dope.

Cityism #62: We cross the street even when it says not to. Oh. That's called jaywalking?

Jamie's such a city girl.

Cityism #61: How it's really not as big as people think it is.

If you really wanted to you could walk from Midtown to the LES.

Cityism #60: People talking to themselves in streets.

I'm not talking about aspiring artists boomboxing and freestyling to themselves...

You know what's up.

Thoughts are broadcasted all over the place as you pass by people. Just keep your ears open.

Cityism #59: You pay for that Diet Coke and you get the straw included.

Let's face it. Do you really want to put your lips against that aluminum? Didn't think so. No, you do care.

That's why straws at the checkout sect of the deli and convenience store are there for you.

See....NYC cares about you. Now you can enjoy some Diet Coke or Exit or cocaine or whatever on the go.

Cityism #58: John Cameron Mitchell.

He's a Cityism because of how dynamite he is.

We love John Cameron Mitchell.

Cityism #57: Crack dens on Christopher St.

This was the first picture that popped up when I searched crack....

Cityism #56: I spent too much money on records yesterday.

Well, if they don't have that Barbara & Ernie vinyl, I can always just listen to the eight other records I purchased yesterday.

Cityism #55: I don't need internet at my place, even though that'd be nice. There are five internet cafes across the street.

I'm so alt.

Cityism #54: "Why did you just give those people wrong directions?" Because I can.

Cityism #53: "She doesn't REALLY know the party promoter but she wish she did..."

Party promoter friends/acquaintances/strangers.

Cityism #52: There are TOO many options on Craigslist for your area.

Well, usually.

Cityism #51: Life in the bike lane.

Let's just take our bikes to Summerstage. They'll have bike valet there.

Cityism #50: Turning off those annoying taxi commercials/replayed news/stupid Lion King ad immediately.

I've already heard the Eyewitness News and, quite frankly, that woman's voice is driving me crazy.

OFF.

Cityism #49: Finding that one spot on the curb. Parking. Lighting that blunt.

Just be careful of the cops and always say you'll leave and that you're sorry. Your friend was just taking too long.

And if not...what could be better than your home? ...where you're dealer can deliver it right at your door.

Cityism #48: People actually buy iPads to read.

On to the next prose...

Cityism #47: I would've been in James Franco's class but I switched to photography.

We've heard them.

The James Franco stories.

School. Party. Casual exchange. Late nights. Art shows.

#cityism

Cityism #46: No, no...But trust me...With this theater you won't be hearing the subway during the screening.

"Rachel, I don't want to go to the Angelika. Every single time I go I hear that fucking subway! Let's just go see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at Sunshine or a Clearview."